Pinned toot

spider imagery invoked 

I believe the children are the future.

The children, of course, being my millions and millions of genetically engineered warrior spiders.

I watched age of ultron last night, it's not a good movie. even by mcu standards.

me watching discourse/subtoots on the timeline: "I have no idea who any of these people are"

the dug up the plants I sprouted inside and the corn seeds I planted directly into the box. all of them. 😭

Show thread

rip literally all the corn I planted
squirrels are voracious this season

tombs are kinda fucking epic, like a guy will be like "you know what i want for my corpse? a big death house, thanks" and people would just do it cause it paid

cat horked into his water fountain, so I cleaned that this morning. so many pieces.

"I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission"
"actually fuck forgiveness though, I'm not gonna do either"

hmm, I'm actually quite pretty when I bother putting in effort. who knew.


I can be both dysphoric over and proud of my dick, right? like, "this thing's pretty great, please get it off me"

Show thread


my homework is to find a laser hair removal place that takes my insurance.

Show thread


doctor (paraphrased): "yeah that dick looks big enough to make a good puss without slicing into your hip."

portland pol 

Penis Girl is better than banksy and i will write a dissertation and or fight you about this.

phone anxiety, alc mention 

I've had 5 different phone calls today and I'm exhausted and could use a drink.

drug mention 

as usual, the best time to cut your own hair is when you're at least a few steps away from sober


I will be significantly more useless than usual.

Show thread

okay, we sent the rooster off to a flock a few streets over (about 60 strong), that should be a good place for him. gonna miss that little featherball though.

Show older
Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!