Aster's cool identity corner @stardust@queer.party

I'm really bad at understanding subtoots, both because of their vagueness and because I'm never sure if they are meant for me or not.

Please, if anyone wants me to content warn something, or to figure out a new CW for something, or if anyone wants to correct me on my English or regarding a term I'm using wrong, or if I'm using oppressive rhetoric against a group, please warn me directly, even if we aren't friends.

This account is locked because I don't want people to follow me just out of politeness, or because they just follow anyone in front of them (this includes bots). I don't want hatefollowers or people following just for private posts either.

I /will/ talk about pride flags, obscure queer labels and lack of awareness/recognition of lesser-known identities and concepts related to them.

Feel free to not follow if you don't want to see that. You may unfollow anytime too.

- I'm Brazilian and I (help) run a bunch of queer/IMOGA/LGBTQIAPN+ sites and groups in Portuguese

- I'm an ex-Pride Flag Collective (pride-flags dA/Pride Color Schemes Tumblr) mod

- I don't mind people who don't want to use labels, too many labels, labels that are too specific and so on for themselves, but I don't tolerate people who mock other people's labels for superficial reasons (and yes, weird names or having to look them up to know their meanings are superficial reasons)

Plenty of people use terms specific to their own cultures, identities affected by being not white/intersex/MI/ND/otherkin, identities that are seen as uncommon and identities that don't use labels "formally defined" (only) as gender labels, such as queer, femme, butch, void, ghost, autistic and so on.

It's distressing when I see other trans people acting like any identity that isn't one of the Common and Recognized Nonbinary Identities as a threat and/or trolling.

If there are nonbinary people in someone's circle, but all of them only identify as nonbinary, agender, bigender, transmasculine, transfeminine, demiboy, demigirl and/or genderfluid, it's not a very diverse circle.

It may seem like it is, for people who are used to only have women and/or men around them. But it may be a sign of having a gatekeep-y or partially closeted circle.

People referring to groups of people using pronouns seems weirdly dehumanizing. If you don't call groups "he/hims" or "shes", why would you call people "xe/xems" or "theys" for using those pronouns?

3. a ton of xenogenders (genders defined by comparisons to things such as rocks, plants, animals, feelings, holidays and so on) have already been coined. Kingender people (people whose gender identities are defined or influenced by their kintype[s]) also exist. So genders that are mainly defined as fire, dragon, 80s aesthetic, fragility, fruits and so on already exist, and aren't jokes or hypothetical situations.

2. a ton of [word]gender like words have already been coined. Firegender, hemigender, gaygender, bathgender, gigagender, netgender, faegender, colorgender, compassgender, metagender and so on all have existing definitions. It's weird to see people act like no one already uses those words for "real identities". 😬

1. "neogender", "MOGAI gender" and "microgender" are labels usually applied by exorsexist people. I know some people use these labels in positive ways, but a significant number of people prefer that people use "lesser known nonbinary identities" only if needed, and otherwise just refer to "nonbinary identities", "xenogenders" or whatever else is the thing about.

This, along with certain stigmas mspec labels have ("you have to be attracted to your own gender", "you have to be attracted to both binary genders", "gender can't be a factor in attraction", "flexible labels are problematic"), can really mess with nonbinary people's perception of their attractions and label choices.

It's also bad for a lot of binary folks, but binary folks tend to have more acceptable/known label choices.

However, it's annoying and sad (and monosexist) that other orientations are ignored and called "mogai hell and thus problematic" (even though they may describe the same attractions a lesbian or gay person has).

* Yes, I am including "accepting as few orientations labels as possible" in monosexism, since the idea that people are either gay or str8 plays into that even though multimisic aspects of monosexism don't affect mono-attracted people

Sure, gay/lesbian may fit for a lot of nonbinary people. And even though perioriented heterosexual orientation is the norm in a way it can't include nonbinary people, I understand if a genderflux person who is often a man and is only attracted to women or if a quiverwoman attracted only to men call themselves straight/het, especially in a heterosexist and monosexist world.

Even viramoric and feminamoric, that are nonbinary-specific (ma/woma/etc. were usually not) and have been well received by a subset of the community, are not widely spread.

And then there are juvelic terms, such as diamoric, enbian, toric and trixic, and mspec terms like neptunic and toren, besides a number of earlier terms such as proqua, nin and so on.

But nothing seems to get spread/memeified so much as "enbies are gay for all genders".

I'm thinking about how many nonbinary people feel like they have to use het/gay/lesbian for themselves since there's rarely any talk about anything else...

Some places do mention gyne/andro, but those orientations are basically blacklisted for a lot of folks due to cissexist usage.

ma(n)-/woma(n)- and alternatives have existed for years, but no one considers them "fun" or "memetic" I guess.