Aster's cool identity corner @stardust@queer.party

I'm really bad at understanding subtoots, both because of their vagueness and because I'm never sure if they are meant for me or not.

Please, if anyone wants me to content warn something, or to figure out a new CW for something, or if anyone wants to correct me on my English or regarding a term I'm using wrong, or if I'm using oppressive rhetoric against a group, please warn me directly, even if we aren't friends.

This account is locked because I don't want people to follow me just out of politeness, or because they just follow anyone in front of them (this includes bots). I don't want hatefollowers or people following just for private posts either.

I /will/ talk about pride flags, obscure queer labels and lack of awareness/recognition of lesser-known identities and concepts related to them.

Feel free to not follow if you don't want to see that. You may unfollow anytime too.

- I'm Brazilian and I (help) run a bunch of queer/IMOGA/LGBTQIAPN+ sites and groups in Portuguese

- I'm an ex-Pride Flag Collective (pride-flags dA/Pride Color Schemes Tumblr) mod

- I don't mind people who don't want to use labels, too many labels, labels that are too specific and so on for themselves, but I don't tolerate people who mock other people's labels for superficial reasons (and yes, weird names or having to look them up to know their meanings are superficial reasons)

Hi there! #introductions

I'm @Aster and I made an account here so I can talk about #queer / #IMOGA / #MOGAI stuff in English without either spamming English-speaking-only followers with stuff they can't understand or spamming my instance's public timeline with English toots about labels they don't care about.

I'm #aspec / #arospec / #acespec, #mspec, #nonbinary / #genderqueer and #polyam. More specifically, I'm an #aroflux #demisexual #nonvirmina who's in a relationship with two other people.

I'm not sure if I'm missing something, besides some TERF-y discourse I don't want to get into (people arguing that binary people attracted to NB people and to the other binary gender only like people with the same AGAB/similar appearance, for instance).

But regardless, excluding NB people from the most common and widely understood m-spec orientation because of... what?

So you can say bi people are attracted to two categories?

That's not ok.

2. Excluding nonbinary people who are attracted to men, women, and/or other genders, but who:

- don't have an applicable "same gender";

- have never met anyone of the same gender as them to know if they are attracted to it;

- aren't attracted to their own gender(s);

- have all of the genders they are attracted to, so they are attracted to the same genders but not to other genders, even if they are attracted to many genders.

When you define bi as "attraction to the same gender and to other genders", you are:

1. Sending the message that bi people aren't valid if they aren't "gay enough":

as in, a woman can't id as bi if she's attracted to men and nonbinary people,

and a genderless person can't be bi if they are only attracted to men and women;

Please define #bi as either "attraction to more than one gender" or as "attraction to two or more genders". Or something similar to that.

Don't use the "same gender and other genders" definition, unless you are talking about why you personally id as bi, not about what defines being bi.

#Exorsexism is the oppression against people who aren't binary (fully/solely/constantly men or fully/solely/constantly women).

It's widely considered a subset of #cissexism, and things such as believing nonbinary genders aren't real or not making space for NB people in communities/spaces are exorsexist/parts of exorsexism.

It's an useful word because it's only used in a specific context, and so the conversation can't be derailed because "binarism also means X" or similar.

Gender modality: Proposal for new terminology

https://medium.com/@florence.ashley/gender-modality-proposal-for-new-terminology-d78df51b299f

"Gender modality refers to the correspondence (or lack thereof) between a person’s gender identity and gender assigned at birth: cisgender and transgender are the two primary gender modality terms, but the term overtly leaves open the door to discussions about other gender modalities."

#GenderModality #Transgender #GenderIdentity

1. Duaric is a word. You can describe the attraction from a man to a woman, or from a woman to a man, as duaric. You can describe a F/M relationship as duaric. Duaric doesn't presume any specific orientation; het/straight does.

2. You can't tell people's genders from a glance. You can't tell if people aren't trans from a glance. You can't tell if people aren't intersex from a glance.

3. Please be inclusive of BTQIAPN+ people.

The lesbian flag made by Lydia at https://medium.com/@lydiandragon/a-lesbian-flag-for-everyone-cef397b89459 = a lesbian flag, for lesbians to use. It was based on a Sappho poem, but it's still meant to be a lesbian flag.

Sapphic flags = flags for all WLW, that can be described as either WLW or sapphic flags, but not as lesbian flags, since sapphic is a much wider term.

I'm seeing a lot of image and emoji descriptions saying the lesbian flag based on a Sappho poem is just a sapphic flag, but this is not true!

Some definitions also state pocket genders are "not recognized officially by the LGBT+ community", but that can't be a thing.

There is no international LGBT+ committee. And even if it were a thing, smaller communities can and always do whatever they want.

There is no list of officially recognized genders anywhere, and you can have a recently-coined and/or considerably specific gender identity and be respected within your local community.

I may not understand why #PocketGender is named like that, but it's a way better term than "obscure gender identities", "neogenders", "#MOGAI gender identities", "microlabels" and other vague, offensive and/or misleading names.

A pocket gender is a gender identity which is thought to be used only by a single person or a small group of people.

https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Pocket-Gender-652783928