Today I learned that you can say "Lumos" to a Google device to turn the lights on, and say "Nox" to turn them off. If it's a phone, you get the camera flash.

I seem to have been banned from commenting on the Guide Dogs adverts because of making a pun :/

(It had a picture of a blind kid with a cane being helped by a sighted kid, with the caption "Help a child like Nell". I said it looked like the other children liked her already.)

skull; toilet; silly 

I like the idea.

But what if they put a hinge on the jaw, so that when you flushed, the eyes lit up and the jaw opened and it boomed "THANK YOU"?

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intel CPU history 

intel has made a fuck ton of CPUs. do you know how many? lots of them. every new process requires new factories and all kinds of waste. but did you know there's a DARK secret? ok maybe not DARK or a secret, but something really worth digging in to. so let's look at the history here

I once went to an exhibition about polydactyly in cats.

It was at the National Paw Trait Gallery.

Sex, innuendo, pregnancy, in very old (1817!) joke 

I found this epigram in a book from 1817. I think you could easily use the same joke in standup comedy today.


Miriam Margolyes explains how she became the voice of the Cadbury's bunny.

Your upper lip is growing hair.
There must be some mistake!
The weight will strain the muscles there;
I'm sure your face mustache.

How many numbers have names, in your language?

Like, in English we have pair, brace, dozen, score, gross.

Sex, historical medical silliness 

2) He thinks puberty occurs earlier in cold countries than hot countries. He admits that people in Siberia reach puberty early, but that doesn't really count: they live indoors for half the year, so they probably see other people getting up to stuff, and that encourages them.


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Sex, historical medical silliness 

Egregious data interpretation failures I've found so far in Becklard's 1845 book "Physiological mysteries":

1) He thinks circumcision probably prevents masturbation, because he's looked through the list of people admitted to his local mental hospital for masturbation, and there aren't many Jews on it.

I keep seeing cat cafes. I want to see a capybara cafe. Big water feature inside, hang out with the capybaras, drink coffee, don't pet them.

[Maths joke]

Me: I found Thomas Bayes's tomb once

Joe Decker: Was it in… a priory?

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Francis Grose, 1785:

"Is your father a glazier: a question asked of a lad or young man, who stands between the speaker and the candle, or fire. If it is answered in the negative, the rejoinder is— I wish he was, that he might make a window through your body, to enable us to see the fire or light."

I think this is now called throwing shade.

I just thought that the reason most of my software and musical work involves only me is that having other people involved generally involves money, and I have no particular expectation that the things I do will make money.

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suggestion for folks with connections to US today (uspol) 


Just stating the obvious here: if you manage people in America, or with links to America, especially if the are Black or Brown, deadlines are cancelled. All of them.

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Call for memories: "I’m working on a zine (or maybe a small book) of people’s stories of games they made up as children. This can be a simple story or paragraph or two — or you can go into more detail."

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#uspol, biden 

"this doesn't represent who we are" mate, have you read a history book? are you fuckin high

you're gonna have to admit white supremacy is why all of the things here man. it's not just the extremists, it's every one of you assholes enabling this shit.

fuck your "rule of law" rhetoric too

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Music; mentions of rioting, depression, dysphoria 

Some Spotify playlists with my music ( ):

🎧 sexy villain vibes // be gay do crimes

🎧 im nonbinary lol

🎧 Gays of Spotify ( The Sequal)

🎧 Queer times

🎧 O

🎧 Songs to riot to

🎧 All round mood

🎧 thats why yo songs raggedy

🎧 Sad Dysphoric enby time

🎧 Songs That Make Me Feel Gay

🎧 oh sod everything

🎧 chill

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!