fluffy ◉ω◉ 💜 @fluffy@queer.party

friendly reminder that:

- you do not need to think someone is the scum of the earth to block them or mute them
- being blocked or muted does not mean you are a bad person in any way shape or form
- you have a right to surround yourself with people you enjoy, indeed, you have a right to happiness
- people liking you doesn't mean you are a good person
- you liking something or someone doesn't mean that that thing is good

it is a misconception I think a lot of people hold, and it's not truth.

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I really appreciated this video! May help you too (and it's really short!)

One question to ask [yourself] when someone doesn't like you
https://youtu.be/14DppUDztJE

@fluffy Sadly, it's largely gone downhill. The Gender Identity Clinics (of which only one handles minors) have always been wretchedly regressive, being the embodiment of gatekeeping, but since around 2015 or so, the waiting lists for the adult clinics have spiralled into absurdity - London, f'rex, is currently seeing people referred in Oct 2017, and that date's advancing to the next month somewhere around every 5-8 months.

With the minors' clinic, GIDS, it's worse - even once you can be seen, they require at least a year on blockers before HRT. Add in more gatekeeping, and it's quite common for patients to simply age out of the system and get dropped into one of the adult clinics, though at least with some priority.

It recently grew far worse. The UK press has been on a TERF spree since the announcement in 2017 of reform of the Gender Recognition Act, an awful process in which a panel you'll never meet decides whether to accept your gender and update it in a legal sense - expensive, bureaucratic. The TERFs launched all-out, and one recent High Court ruling (Bell v Tavistock) means all GIDS treatment is in peril, largely halted. Only GenderGP exists now - all the other private options are, understandably, wary of going anywhere near prescribing for under-18s.

Some hope exists: three new GICs have opened, all *listening* to people and what they want of transition. But all adult-only, all limited in intake as initial trials. A very positive harbinger, though.

Maybe some of the "alternative technologies" (messengers, social networks, operating systems) and their communities need more "driving people" that aren't enthusiastic about technology but actually dislike computers, smartphones, networks very much and want to minimize the time spent using or dealing with these tools. This might provide very interesting insights into why some things work and some don't.

If the argument that comes after "I have Black friends" is "therefore I can ignore what other Black people say about antiblackness" then no, no you do not have Black friends.

To get the ball rolling, I would suggest:

* Don't leave an instance unadministered. If you need to take leave, make sure someone can take your place in the meantime.
* Strive to respond to reports within 48 hours.
* Respond to the reporter with a DM to clarify what action (if any) was taken.