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lewd, parody ad 

This toot is sponsored by sluttily, the free online & offline flirting strategy.

Millions behave sluttily to communicate their desires clearly & effectively.

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trans star wars 

“only a cis deals in absolutes!”

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sex woes 

@lamb anal should not hurt unless you want it to. If it does, someone is doing it wrong. Before I penetrate a new inexperienced partner, I always make sure I can fit at least 3 well-lubed fingers into their hole without discomfort.

I usually start foreplay with one finger & apply ridiculous amounts of silicon-based lube, which stays slippery way longer than water-based lube. My rule of thumb is: If you think it is enough lube … use more lube!

Good anal should not cause any pain ever! ♥

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lewd, confession 

I just joined yesterday and already I had nice interactions with cute, lewd, delightfully queer people than elsewhere!

tbh I came for the noodz, but I'll definitely stay for the :rainblob:


a quick update, while you shouldn't eat while wearing prosthetic fangs, i can still swallow things~

nsfw nude selfies, ec, kink 

Do I make for a pretty pet?

I was collared by @deejvalen and now I'm zer bitch

babe, are you a daring-class (type 45) destroyer? because you look like there were high hopes for you but you vastly exceeded cost expectations and a number of critical flaws render you much less useful than thought

Maybe this is a controversial opinion but I don't like it when you have to follow a character who walks much slower than your run speed but much faster than your walk speed. Just gonna do donuts around this poor guide in the desert

lewd, subtoot 

did you know that DPI stands for Day of Penis Inspection

Why do we give scholarships and the best schools to the top students?

Isn't in the lowest performing students that need the most help? "Good" students are doing just fine already.


List of things that do fart (organic)

full body nudity lewdness kink ec 

sorry for the repost I had to fix some stuff in the first one lol

anyways this is what doms mean when they talk about wanting a pretty little pet:

gay levels are currently at 100%

(100%) ■■■■■■■■■■

ooc Juli quote, lewd 

"Jesus died so I could get creampied"

want that on booty shorts

lewd, subtoot 

@jookia Just keep an extremely clean penis, then you will always pass DPI!

lewd, subtoot 

did you know that DPI stands for Day of Penis Inspection

The existence of Comicon implies the possibility of Satiricon, Tragicon, and Romcomcon

why does this world want so much from me

I'm just a tiny little kitten

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!