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lewd, parody ad 

This toot is sponsored by sluttily, the free online & offline flirting strategy.

Millions behave sluttily to communicate their desires clearly & effectively.

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trans star wars 

“only a cis deals in absolutes!”

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sex woes 

@lamb anal should not hurt unless you want it to. If it does, someone is doing it wrong. Before I penetrate a new inexperienced partner, I always make sure I can fit at least 3 well-lubed fingers into their hole without discomfort.

I usually start foreplay with one finger & apply ridiculous amounts of silicon-based lube, which stays slippery way longer than water-based lube. My rule of thumb is: If you think it is enough lube … use more lube!

Good anal should not cause any pain ever! ♥

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lewd, confession 

I just joined yesterday and already I had nice interactions with cute, lewd, delightfully queer people than elsewhere!

tbh I came for the noodz, but I'll definitely stay for the :rainblob:

Parking meters are a form of gentrification

kink, d/s, petplay, bondage 

gamer girl domme on voice with her friends, doing an endgame raid while im locked in place at her feet, bound and gagged and plugged. each time she lands a crit, the vibration briefly intensifies. every enemy slain sends a jolt through the shock collar. she has her webcam pointed at me and is streaming the feed to her party. raid ends in four hours

bro your eyes are so pretty, no homo bro. like I could get lost in them, in a heterosexual way

In an effort to achieve true peace, I will be banning my dick and balls from posting on their own for now

big boobs? yes
big dicks? yes
both at the same time? yes yes

imagine having a separate fuckroom
i.e. a room for fucking that is not your normal bedroom o.o

Given Hasbro, I have to assume the only reason MTG hasn't crossed-over with Monopoly yet is it'd be giving the game away.

potential dates for LOOT MY BODY, an erotic final boss dating sim:

- deranged empress
- elritch swamp hag
- totally unscrupulous Devil Wears Prada style #girlboss
- cold, faceless assassin
- huge inhuman monster with A Tragic Past
- ex-special ops military zealot who is also kind of your mom in a weird way
- just a straight up drow. spider taur.
- JRPG boss who loves philosophy and dressing up like a murderous italian jester
- Butchula (butch dracula)

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oh also can we get like Leatherface but girl? splatter sapphic representation. also maybe some kind of fucked up demon for the secret hidden dating path.

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If somebody wants to make that boss bitch dating sim pa-leeze get me to do the art

im going to create an information that is so hazardous

Move fast, break things, do nothing to fix them, insist they're not broken, blame someone else.

gently thirsty 

thinking about boys in skirts and the way they get all embarrassed when the skirt starts to tent up in the front

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I wanna cuddle with people 🥺
And re-learn how to sexual intimacy 🥺
the difference between twitter and fedi is that twitter will ban you for undermining nato and i’ll ban you for supporting it
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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!