Pinned toot

Hi! tumblr is dying so I'm checking this place out. My name is Jess. I'm a 30 y.o. woman. but prefers ladies. , traveler, romantic. keeps me going. I love , , , , , and .

Last night while I sat at a group meeting, I sketched this concept for a self-portrait. I'm the figure in the middle. In the final version, I want to make the path even more complex, and incorporate the transgender colors

Small brain: "Mastodon"
Big brain: "Fediverse"
Galaxy brain: "This website"

My breakup bangs are working. I got lucky last night :110: 😚

alpacajess boosted

Whenever i see those lizards that run on two feet, i'm like "why are you trying to be a human? You're a lizard! Enjoy it!" smdh

alpacajess boosted

it’s too hard to find a D&D time that works with everyone’s jobs, so i have decided to end capitalism

alpacajess boosted

a whole heap of good. next question.

alpacajess boosted

Selfies, ec, new boots Show more

lewd, bdsm, horny Show more

An older lesbian coworker bought me a bag of dill pickle flavored popcorn at work today. When her shift was over, she came up to me and told me she thought I should have the receipt.

I was a bit distracted, and I thought it was odd, but I said OK. Suddenly she slipped a folded-up receipt into my back pocket! When she left, I pulled it out, expecting a phone number or some secret message. But no, it was just the receipt 🤨

I have the biggest crush. Today I thought about her at work, and I became useless. It's like my crush was literally crushing me, and I couldn't move because I wanted to make out with her so bad. I am 30 years old by the way 😳 😓

I'm gay, but I hate electropop.

I think it's because my mom used to be an aerobics instructor when I was little and she dragged me to her afternoon and evening classes cuz she couldn't afford a babysitter. I sat in the corner of the room, or in a daycare room behind a thin wall and that aerobics music was pounding in my ears. Even when we went home, she'd practice her routines. I thought music was annoying until I heard that weird Butthole Surfers song on the radio. Thanks, Butthole Surfers

Stoner metal is the opposite of work out music. You listen to it when you want to get out of shape

Best times to cry (progesterone edition)

-When I'm driving somewhere by myself and I just want to cry
-When I can't sleep because everything bad that happened to me is replaying in my head and oh shit I need to get up in four hours...
-When my ex gives me advice for future relationships
-When I watch some random scene in a show that isn't even sad
-When I want to get laid but no one I like wants to fuck
-When I want to write and make art but I waste my whole night on social media

I'll learn to code when Satan teaches me to code in Hell

Show more
Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!
Note for folks coming from Tumblr; NSFW content is allowed here, but you must tag your posts as NSFW, and provide a clear content warning for them! NSFW profile pictures or banners, or explicit usernames/display names are not allowed. Please keep it friendly!