Apple Fiend @Melisandre@queer.party

Posing in front of my bookshelf so that people think I'm smart.

Another story from your's truly.

This one is a little bit stranger than my previous pieces and can best be described as surreal horror. If you like strange little horror stories, please give it a read.

https://medium.com/@LucyDecker/dads-been-different-since-the-divorce-e29e645f6a48

I never zone out faster than when a middle aged man starts talking about 'respect'.

Why am I pleasantly surprised that a site that specifically calls itself Queer Porn offers, you know, queer porn.

Safe words? Gloves and dental dams? Queer terminology showing that this was definitely made by queer people?

I think this is the first time I've ever watched something and gone

"Oh hey, that's how I do it."

Man: Look at this guy in the woman's section. Is he buying a dress? Hey, Baz, there's a bloke buying a dress.

Woman: I'm trans.

Man: I am so sorry!

Man: Look at this guy in the woman's section. Is he buying a dress? Hey, Baz, there's a bloke buying a dress.

Woman: I'm trans.

Man: I am so sorry!

Current Mood: Will sell soul for nudes.

To all the political commentators currently saying that the Democratic nominee doesn't matter, that this election will be a 'referendum on Trump'

Go study up on the Australian 2019 elections to see how that goes.

I'm always annoyed that the past tense of 'think' is 'thought' and not 'thunk'.

Myself and other essential retail workers are seeing a heightened number of customers coming into our store. We have a high chance of infection.

All my money is going to savings so I can survive WHEN I get sick and need to self-isolate.

I make a post about hazard pay for essential workers.

High school friends pipes in with, 'Um, actually, as an essential worker, I'm just happy to have a job.'

DFUUUUUUUUCK!!!

"What? No, I'm not sick."

"But you said-."

"No, no, I meant I have 19 crows."

Deep in the bowels of hell, my torturer makes small talk.

"So why did you come to hell?"

Without missing a beat, I say back. "Dis Pandemonium."

He looks at me incredulously.

I sigh. "Ursury."

CDC: To fight the virus, we will need to think like a virus.

Capitalist: My time to shine.

Since I'm going to have so much time on my hands, I have decided to finally get into Dwarf Fortress.

Or more likely, get frustrated, cut myself bangs, and take selfies and reading

I am not a gamer

Other people will always look better than you do because your subconcious doesn't spend all its time nitpicking their appearances.

Those 19th Century Polymathic geniuses get a lot less impressive when you realise they paid people to dress them.

And even less impressive when you realise how pointedly they didn't pay whole loads of people.

I miss the days when all online content wasn't simultaneously advertisements for Hollywood.