Queer Techie Scum @weel@queer.party

i just wish people were better about this when i was 18 and wanted to figure out my gender-shit but was pressured into strongly distancing myself from "gay maleness" due to hostility and an impression that i was fake trans if i had any ties left to that part of myself; and it has kept me out of spaces i would have found community in; and pushed me into transitioning to a certain way of being i ultimately don't want and am now kinda stuck with and trying to remedy in ways that aren't detransition

be less hostile to other queer ppl because even "Cis" queer people don't get to be "Cis" a lot of the time. i guess. we're all genderfucked even if we identify as part of our assigned gender but specifically in the way that we are a gay version of it.

i guess.

likewise we create expectations that recognizing in yourself not being 100% cis necessarily means abandoning "male" spaces like gay bars or grindr where people might find community. theres a massive divide. the moment i started being trans i was expected to not do grindr, or drag shows, & was expected to be "sapphic", why??? let people move freely between spaces and identities and let it OK to just like, recognize one's own gender alientation without having to totally leave behind their identity

i guess this is part of my general crusade against our intra-communal homophobia against gay "men" who are so often alienated from "man-ness" and who are often pushed out from feeling comfortable exploring a non-binary identity because we so often have an expectation of what non-binary means that is more restrictive. because often people put pressure to "decide" on people or because for some reason lesbians can use they/them and still be lesbians but when gay "men" do it they're faking it

and i think that would make more people way more comfortable in figuring out who they are and exploring ways of being that make them feel good; without feeling like they're toeing a cis/trans binary line. a lot of 'cis gay people' are *already* a non-binary gender as far as the straights are concerned. so let everyone own that in however way they want to do it; rather than being critical of "the cis gay men trying to be more queer"

a part of the expectations for being a man or a woman is that you be straight; and homophobia in part serves as a punishment for "failing" to live up to being a man or woman by not being straight. and in media often gay characters are not treated as properly being men or women; especially gay male characters who are rarely "one of the boys" and usually associated more with female characters; even when they're meant to be more masc.

get the fuck out with your traditionalist family values, python

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