sub?toot?, Nervous, poetry
would that i could untangle you
not with my own hands
i am too far and far too strange besides
this does not stop my want
my need for you to be subsumed with joy
my tongue is laid low. bound by magics same or similar
to reach and fall short
midway. to stare into a pit with noise unceasing. to be mocked by your own hands.
would that i could ceaselessly hunt your hurt
but i have only words instead of blood and so i lay before you leaves and fruit and thorns
a thing that happens sometimes is that authors will write an emotionally-intense homosocial relationship, fans will say "this seems gay," and the author responds "nuh-uh, they're just friends." and when you look at the way these kinds of dynamics play out over and over again, eventually you start to be like "... okay but why NOT let the fan interpretation as gay steer your future writing?" or "maybe sometimes it really is gay, and the authors are just denying what it is they're writing, to themselves or just to other people"
but the authors aren't wholly talking out their asses. the lurking variable of homophobia aside, the dividing line between intense friendships and romance genuinely is ambiguous, perhaps mostly illusory: relationships are decided as romantic or friendly on the basis of things like, do they SAY it's romantic? do they share a bed?
so it's interesting to note that authors also write things that are obviously trans, then deny it. & that's much harder to explain away.
One more thing #TruckCommunity. If, at some point next week, i were to replace all the glass panes in the McMansion, would you prefer it to be:
Like I said a while ago, when asked what I want I often say 'I don't know' because I genuinely don't know. Note the often because it also happens that I say that even on the rare occasion that I *do* know.
Why? Out of fear that I'll be mocked or ridiculed for it, fear that people will get angry, fear that stating my wants or needs will make me "too much", or deemed "unacceptable", as has happened many times in the past. Fear of disappointment. Uncertainty as to the outcome or consequences. A maladaptive coping mechanism in other words, where even the thought of mildly inconveniencing other people makes me nauseous so I avoid doing so at all costs.
I just spent 45 mins explaining gaslighting to a white baby gay in an effort to keep my queer trans gaming group from falling apart
Any white people wanna pay a brown dyke for some emotional labor? I'm broke and scared about making rent this month
Cash app: $hamsterpower
I hope the kid who made the "I love myself, even though I look like a BURNT chicken nugget I still love myself" Vine is having a good day and still loves themself, and I hope any- and everyone who precipitated the creation of that Vine by bullying them or just forwarding fatphobic and colorist ideology in general gets a nasty case of heartburn
25. Bi. They/them. Posscat. I'm Mox and I probably think you're neat.
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