Then or when I'm stoned anyway
I'm an atheist, but could I be an atheist with an imagination? What if Igave personhood to a concept, or wrote letters or emails to a... person, a god? An idea? A comfort? That wouldn't be so unreasonable, would it?
But on walks I would pass a house with what looked like a rudimentary shrine starring a concrete frog, and I liked singing in church choirs. And there's a part of myself - it felt like a betrayal - that scrabbled desperately for comfort (cosmic, religious) when terrible things happened or more precisely, when I did terrible things I couldn't deal with
Either it wasn't there or I couldn't recognize it, when I was a teenager and a young adult - I only knew I wanted nothing to do with the judeochristian god, who was too cruel (it seemed), and who required too much cruelty
I may not know my words, but I do know my heart
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