Pinned toot


roommate had a dream i kept giving him emotional support and calling him "brother" like some sort of cool jazz musician. My dude's, I cannot emphasize enough that I look like an otter who happened upon magic beans.

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Going into a bog to make a deal with a witch in order to stop production on all superhero movies

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Pinned toot

Please keep pretending that rules exist and apply to me. They don't.


We were in the middle of sex when I just wasn't feeling it and I went, "I don't wanna have sex right now." And my partner rolled off me, asked to hug me, hugged me, and was like, "No problem. Wanna talk about it or do you wanna watch Pushing Daisies?" And I'm real happy in my relationship leaf me alone.

Tennessee boosted

money beg 2, boost please <3 

Did this a week or so ago but I'm still short about $400 for next month and I'm an unemployed trans girl with basically 0 income. If you can help out at all it'd be really appreciated, I'm trying to get together whatever I can rn ahah

i hope mister potato head becoming potato head starts the civil war

I wrote 800 words I really liked today. About 2k in total. I'm fixing to do a few more writing sprints and then I'm going to curl up with an Ursula K. L (writing l cause i can't spell shit and i'm not looking anything up. take me as i am. dumb as shit.) book and acting like i don't know nobody.

"Mister Potato Head is non-binary and he's here to fuck your wife, sir" "oh fuck oh shit"

They won't get another cent from me if they take that thick magnificent potato cock out of the Mister Potato Head box. I promise you that.

running on a campaign that if elected i will throw hands my first day in congress and i just won't stop doing that. i'm not promising to pass SHIT. i'm not changing SHIT. i won't even sit down. i'm just gonna rumble every fucking day i'm allowed inside.

I want a girlfriend. I want her to be pussy and tum out. Wanna call her pooh bear while she glares at me and tries to find her phone charger.

Tennessee boosted

Now I'm soaking my feet in epsom salt and eucalyptus. I bought a new pumice stone so it's over for y'all.

Sex, spanking 

Roommate left to go to the post office and oh man my butt is red.

sex, food, not together 

had really lazy sex this morning, wrote letters, ate chinese food, had a good day

Shooting the vaccine into people with a real gun

Tennessee boosted

welcome to applebees we've got apples we've got bees

What are y'all doin later? Being normal? Sick.

being poly is just me knowing shit about taylor swift when i didn't want to

Tennessee boosted

Texas Crowdfunding: Black mom with 3 month old needs money for diapers and wet wipes

“ I’m a first time mother living inside my car with my newborn needs help getting funds for diapers and wipes . Anything donations will help . Living in my car . TX IS really bad rn anything will help I have sleep in the car with my son 🥲😩🙏🙏 messed up all my baby stuff”

Cashapp: $yadybaby

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!