orchiectomy, surgery anxiety 

day of preëxams and talks is friggin ~tomorrow~
day of ✂️🍒 is friggin ~two days~

hello I'm elilla and I'm very nervous how are you queers

most challenging part of orchiectomy 

I'll have to be in another city tomorrow at 8

and the next day at 7

for a latina with adhd, nothing is as hard as punctuality >.>

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a crucial part of orchiectomy 

pointedly ‘age-inappropriate’, bubblegum side of the wardrobe, no... trashy skimpy side, alas not today... ah, here, serious office lady slash professor librarian corner. lol this is by far my most limited palette, I need some new blazers or s/t x3

now let's try to preassemble an outfit for tomorrow that will limit how much doctors fail to take me seriously...

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orchiectomy, graphic genitals disc, anxious 

it's kind of a weird, unique feeling to touch a part of your body and think it will be gone in a day and half. they are softly aching right now; undoubtedly some psychosomatic mindfuckery or another.

testicles never were an erogenous zone for me, but neither were they dysphoric. they produce T, and _that_ makes me dysphoric. but the organs themselves are just kinda... there. getting on the way of panties, tucking, muffing, a bother more than a problem.

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orchiectomy, graphic genitals disc, medical 

I have a condition called in German, quite poetically, das Sternenhimmelphänomen – the starry sky phenomenon. My testicles look on ultrasound like the infinite darkness of space, punctuated by countless shining stars (=microlithiasis). It's a poorly understood, mostly harmless condition, but thought to be associated with higher risk of germ cell cancer. So this surgery can also be considered preventive.

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eye contact, outfit of the day 

today's eye MU. just a discreet touch of sparkly pink 😌 :sparkles_pink:

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orchiectomy, difficulties 

despite all my best efforts, got lost, am predictably late >.>

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orchiectomy, difficulties 

had to register at the reception from 7:30, then be at the surgery department at 9. I optimistically aimed to arrive at 8, but made it to 8:15. there was a slow queue, then when my number was called the lady glanced at my paper and promptly sent me to Frau Such-and-Such to get a permit A38. She wasn't there and the guy there was v unamused at my poor communicative abilities. He sent me back to the queue for a copy of something.
I will be very late and I'm very nervous 😖

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orchiectomy, difficulties 

now getting the traditional confusion and scepticism over deadname

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orchiectomy, misgendering 

now getting the traditional misgendering after they saw my documents

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orchiectomy, misgendering, very bad 

look I'm happy to donate my testes to science. I really am. but if you're going to ask people who do feminising surgery for their tissue, you could at **least** use "Menschen" >__<

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orchiectomy+, medical 

after a very stressful bureaucracy overload, interviews, having 4 bodily fluids examined, getting weak from blood drawing again, interviews, ultrasound, disclaimers, science contracts, a lot of getting by with poor German, and genital inspection, I'm ready to be cut out tomorrow :ablobcatrave:

they forgot some minor information, like when I'm supposed to be here and whether I'll go home in the same day (I asked the nurse, "6:30am" and "probably I guess?")

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orchiectomy+, selfie, eye contact 

hallo I am elilla and this is the very last day of my entire life with testosterone-producing gonads :sparkles_trans:

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orchiectomy, important questions 

what does one wear to surgery :thinknyan:

something easy to put on and off, right? since they'll prob slide you into a gown or s/t. and comfy to lie in bed, just in case. but also femme. a cardi in case I feel cold, tho it's very hot rn, so something fresh underneath. sleeveless top and soft skirt I think – easy access to arms and groin, in case that's required when I'm not in gown. slip-on flats. tight panties. claw hairclip, easy to remove. no MU or polish ;-;

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orchiectomy, srs, surgical details 

they just called from the hospital. doctor wanted to know why I want an orchi. Herr Doktor isn't it a bit too late to ask that 😅

I managed to blame cypro in German somehow. and to convey that I might want a vaginoplasty in the future. I don't know if I ever will, actually, but it costs nothing to preserve the material. this surgeon does grs too so he'll know the best place to cut (I hope).

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orchiectomy, srs, surgical details 

also I _think_ the registration doctor showed me a picture of inguinal orchiectomy when explaining what it will be like? I actually would like inguinal, I think. I mean what do I need my cords for? and it preserves all the skin, and the scars look rad 😌

but I think I must have misunderstood it—simple orchi is less impactful and easier to do, and from what I gathered it's the normal choice for trans ppl.

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orchiectomy, srs, surgical details 

though I'll be under full anesthesia & trans wiki says that's more typical of inguinal? :thonking: :spinner_think:

now I'm curious about what my surgery actually even is lol

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orchiectomy, planning problems 

frig forgot to remove nail polish lol

/me rubbing acetone at 3am

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orchiectomy, lil pagan prayer 

To destroy, to build up, to tear out and to settle are yours, Inanna. Nitah munus-ra munus nitah-ra ku⁴-ku⁴-de³ Inana za-kam: To turn male into female and female into male is yours, Inanna. Please grant me that this procedure transitions fully with no DHT spikes from adrenal androstenedione. Inana za-e mah-me-en za-e gur⁴-ra-me-en.

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orchiectomy, the day, purple prose 

when I left the sky was still black, shining with still unfamiliar Northern stars. Venus brightly promised life where none was thought to be. Birds and automatic lights startled me; I felt irrationally afraid of being robbed, assaulted, worst of all that it'd get me late.

I feel cleansed and exposed, and very alone when the time comes. but the care of all the ppl who supported me warms me from the inside, makes me brave. my back is still throughly gotten.

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orchiectomy, the day, polyamory, silly 

‘but doctor ~why~ can't i invite 4 loves to hold my hands during the surgery T_T’

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orchiectomy, selfie, eye contact 

at least Ewa is allowed to get into the hospital with me 😌 tho not even she can come into the operating room...

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orchiectomy, plushies 

I'm in what must be my patient room. I'm glad my bed neighbour has a Minnie, Ewa will feel less alone this way 😌

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orchiectomy+, done!!, ec 

I'm alive! ty everybody for your kind support!

they took me everywhere with kitty mask which i found hilarious :3

looks like it was simple after all & not inguinal!

cant type much rn, will write later

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orchiectomy+, done!! 

would v much enjoy doing a celebratory tattoo but totally out of ideas on what

"nut free" is too corny x3

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orchiectomy+, tattoo idea 

lesbian ex suggested an orchid and now I can't take the idea out of my mind 🙈🙈

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orchiectomy, recovery, medical 

got up to cross the room and whoa walking is ~really~ hard rn. not just pain, also got super dizzy very fast.

was supposed to go home today but if I don't get better I'll have to ask for an overnight stay...

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feeling super good and right at not having testicles :transdab: :trans_heart: :queer100:

orchiectomy, horrible pun 


:blobcatthink: I think I got an idea for an ad for this kind of op.

Showing someone - a trans woman, or a doctor maybe? - pointing at the reader in an Uncle Sam style.

Text reads: "Orchiectomy. Have you got the balls?"

(I'll show myself out :blobcatpeek: )

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