Pinned toot

My pt 1/?

Hi! I'm the Dark Siren. I was lurking in your internets before social media and even before Google was a thing.

I'm a bean of the variety. Most of the time I'm like, "gender? meh." But I'm also ok with my body as it is. I'm ok with all sorts of genders in me, on me, and around me.

I'm in a monogamous relationship w/someone whose gender and sexuality are both quite static. It is not contradictory to me. I love people, not genders.

Speaking of challenges...

I probably won't be doing inktober this year. I was busy with writing RPG stuff, and by the time I thought of catching up, it was October 10.

Too bad, cause I found some neato prompts this year. But I'ma try to be kind to myself and not feel bad that I didn't make it this year.

I did however succeed 2 years in a row, so I know I CAN do it! My brain is just in writing mode right now.

Social media brainstorm 2/?

I had a thought just now of using NaNoWriMo or the 750 words/day challenge to write social media posts instead of fiction (which is its own mountain of challenge; I have a series of several books in my head.)

But I have a couple of big creative tasks that need finishing first: 1) a Google form for a round robin RPG concept, after which I'll submit my own first game idea, and 2) a Pathfinder rules homebrew I'm doing to make improv encounters possible for me.

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Social media brainstorm 1/?

I'm thinking that, instead of just shouting into the void to look for queer gamer friends in my area (to meet remotely for now and in person when we can do so) I ought to create a stronger social media presence.

It will require a lot of planning, focus, and writing ahead of time. It's a challenge even on my best days with ADHD. Case in point: I've considered this social media presence thing for at least 5 years, with plenty of stops and starts, but nothing concrete.

I dislike the term "gaymer". I'm a gamer, but not gay. I'm not straight either. I'm pansexual if you go by the "attraction regardless of gender" definition, and bisexual if you go by the "attracted to more than one gender" definition.

I often fall into the uncomfortable space between demographics, which is why I created my Meetup group. But it's practically dead now, between COVID-19, personality clashes, and folks' unwillingness to shoulder some discomfort for the sake of inclusivity.

Once again I'm glum... No idea any more how to find or build a community of people I can stand to be around.

queerness, mental health, gamer community & defying stigma 1/? 

I've long desired a social media platform to document my mental health that isn't quite as open and unprotected as the birdsite.

I used to blog prolifically about my personal life. I've long ago scrubbed those candid posts from the internet. As I become more visible as a queer person, and I dare to engage the gamer community as such, I'm all the more conscious of drawing negative attention.

But I yearn to be fearless & authentic.

political stuff 

npr.org/2020/09/18/100306972/j

It finally happened... Rest in peace, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

I'm terrified at the prospect of Trump picking her successor. If the universe has even a modicum of fairness, any nomination he puts forth will be blocked this close to election day. Much as Obama's was toward the end of his term.

Of course, ensuring Trump doesn't get a second pick also requires people to vote him out of office. Please put aside your Biden/Harris misgivings and do so. Please.

It seems obvious to me that white identity folks are afraid of retaliation and revenge for slavery and racism, and particularly that they might find themselves in the same disadvantaged situation as their ancestors put other folks in.

Well, first of all, that's not going to happen. If folks stop being assholes and act normal, it will be a big relief to everyone. You won't be able to go all "privileged" but don't do that anyway.

Huh... I may actually be starting to figure Mastodon out as a social media platform.
Mind blown. Guess an internet-old mythical monster CAN learn new tricks.

Gender is now banned due to being a fire hazard.

There is an entire system of cultural pressures which restrict us from being the inherently playful animals we really are deep down. Life isn't supposed to be boring and terrible just because you've grown up.

Enjoy things. Be weird.

Gawds, I feel like a person diving back into the dating pool. Except I'm just trying to meet queer gamer buddies (who wanna play RPGs and hang out on Zoom, and can tolerate my walls of text) by shouting into the internet ether...

...the sound is a sad mewling, tiny and piteous in the enigmatic dark.

Why yes, I am the kind of person who redrafts toots just to repair a broken thread!

I once had a lab partner in college who laughed at me when I tore out a notebook page and painstakingly copied what I wrote onto a fresh sheet, just because I messed up a line.

I'm better about just scribbling things out now (you should see my ) but I am still a at fault with many things.

My pt 10/10

What brings me to Mastodon?

As with my other social media / community organizing endeavors, I'm casting a wide net in the hopes of fishing more of "my people" from the ocean of human existence.

'Cause I rarely ever find them by chance. It's much more likely that compatible folks find me out here as I swim against the tide, broadcasting my meandering rambles from the intersection of , & .

Pleased to meet you. The water's fine. Dive in!

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My pt 9/?

Being a Meetup organizer was when I really came out. Not to my family, classmates, or co-workers, but definitely online and to folks I met through Meetup.

I also learned what it meant to defend a cause. I stepped out of my comfort zone and advocated for correct pronoun use, stood up against TERFs, and created a Meetup that aligned with my principles.

Meetup isn't perfect--any social group has its conflicts and drama--but I've carved out a niche there where I can be me.

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My pt 8/?

Eventually, when I became a , that allowed me to play any number of characters and relationships in as many configurations of gender and sexuality as I could imagine. I had free reign to craft campaign worlds in which being asexual, bisexual, gay, nonbinary, pansexual, polyamorous, or transgender was absolutely normal and acceptable.

Eventually, I turned to Meetup to find guinea pigs... erm, players for my queer friendly and gender diverse sessions.

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My pt 7/?

I did a lot of gender and sexuality exploration through characters. Much of this was while I was exclusively playing , a . I enjoyed roleplaying non-heterosexual relationships and also characters of ambiguous gender (who could potentially fall in love / lust with any gender).

The setting of Exalted, while problematic in many ways, was pretty permissive about same-sex relationships and made some efforts toward upending gender norms.

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Ugh, can't sleep at all. Downed a whole 16 oz of iced tea before bed. Mind is currently in a hyper creative state churning out project and event ideas like a popcorn machine. I'm gonna regret this later; the tiredness will certainly hit me in the afternoon when I have stuff to do.

What I really (really) need to do is revive my personal website. I used to host my own blog way back when. I also really want to start hosting a wiki for worldbuilding stuff.

Ugh... so lazy / out of practice.

My web server has collected dust for years now. It just kinda fell by the wayside when I got laid off, dove into community organizing, and started addressing my health stuff.

But yeah... if I had a blog, I could just link to the blog posts on social media. Hard to find an audience, tho.

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Taking a break from my novella-sized intro to muse on the fact that I just don't write in small bites. I honestly never do. I need a social media platform that lets me write to my heart's content without cut it up... one that isn't Facebook (ew).

Maybe I'll go back to searching for one. But I dunno. I struggle to fit into anything, including gender and societal norms and character limits. I'd rather do my own thing and have people come to me. It's why I started a Meetup group, after all.

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!