draconic cum spigot @dargi_dargon@queer.party

they're just here for your money
they can't care about you
you're just the bees to their honey

nothing like pitting your hormone-fueled libido against the social distancing health practices of a global pandemic

nothing like not being poisoned by your own body to really make you /feel/ attractive and happy, shit

heck geez, tho, i love the way having the right chemicals in my brain makes me feel, holy FRICK

I must confess this is largely one of my partner's doings, but if she's leaning into it, so can i

me, a filthy casual, showing up to raid with full world buffs and consumables, with my fresh gear enchanted: nya~~!! who's ready to bap this mean old boss, uwu??

I will infect this raid with catgirl cringe

it's almost like sid meier is a cowardly centrist lib cuck, simping for capitalism's feet pics

bimbos, himbos, thembos, and femmebos

wishing i weren't shit at self-analysis so when people told me i was intimidating and standoffish i had a concrete frame of reference for understanding exactly what in my behavior model was giving off that vibe.

the whole thing has strong vibes of not actually being angry until the hundredth person asks you why you're angry.

sometimes it feels like i just put a target on my back when i speak up in group environments. i am a drain and a god damn mood killer

i hate how poorly my internal monologue reacts to things i probably needed to hear?

i hate having such strong negative connotations connected to certain words, such that i shut down when those words are used to describe me.

i don't know how to balance being like this with actually speaking my opinion and drawing my own boundaries. i will always be marked, and that mark will continue staining my social interactions until i'm fixed i guess.

why am I like this

before the 'rona hit, and before my recent re-acquisition of hrt, i was already feeling a deep sense of isolation coupled with a lack of focus and drive. i've been struggling between an inability to engage with people and an intense desire to engage with people. i feel like a worthless jerk for invariably failing to engage with people until they write me off, which like, can't blame them in the slightest tbh? anyway, pandemic killed the socialite star, blue pills got me crying.

ah yes, we've reached the spontaneous crying phase of the re-acclimation process

me, continuing to guzzle the tf juice: this is a bit. an elaborate ruse. I'm doing this ironically

my brain, running on a correct dose of hormones and a full tank of nutrients and calories: 👀

a perfect world
all flags unfurled
and ablaze

with a shout
we all walk out
of the maze

my crow-befriending gf has gotten the crows to come to our abode, where now they train me to feed them peanuts as well

I love my leftist world of warcraft guild but hot damn we still have some categorically clueless dudes when it comes to things like toxic masculinity and the myriad ways it appears in casual conversation