imagining living a house I built myself, to my own specifications, and made to last

reaching for my own future
like a potted plant
placed a foot too far
into the shade

my mind is a mcmansion composed entirely of panic rooms

oh, you want to refer to genitals? here are your choices:

1) silly, childish, unsexy word
2) crude, vulgar, brash word
3) cold, medical, cinical word

the crows are always watching, watching, waiting

they know you have the peanuts

they want the peanuts

they watch, and wait

tfw yr gf's crow buddies show up at your home looking for their pal, the Bread Lady, but they only see you sitting on the back porch so they're all like, "you'll have to do, groundling! where's the PEANTUS??!" and ofc i must oblige bc i am a Well Trained Human

I like how gerrymandering is totally fine until it becomes "excessive"

please sir, this is my emotional support machete

dumbass play-by-plays and heartfelt opinion about the inauguration like we're watching the credits after a movie

it's just a guy in a blue maga hat with a billionaire's arm crammed up his ass, can we all stop acting like this is over

Don't suppose anyone knows of a media player for Linux that sorts albums by album artist instead of track artist and also knows how to differentiate between multiple versions of an album, do they? :blobcoffeeunamused2:

what is this
stopping me

why do I
while the iron
is glowing

how do I
give it a name
kill it
burn it's remains
and scatter them
across the sea

irrational fear #39:
that feeling when things are going just a tad too smoothly

irrational fear #71:
what if the people who believe in me are wrong

irrational fear #436:
the prospect of genuine friendship

irrational fear # 6111:
i hear my partner get home and come inside through the front door. i know the sound of their footfalls and the swish of their gait. i go downstairs to check that it's actually them, because it could be an intruder cleverly impersonating those unique sounds

i'm like the scientists from inGen except my unethical, ego-stroking research entirely involves forcing bad puns into social situations at inappropriate moments

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!