dargi_dargon @dargi_dargon@queer.party

I will lay here and rumble at you and you will feed me and if all goes well humanity will have bought itself another day

I could eat fifty dozen deviled eggs rn

live-tooting a d&d session but only posting after you roll a nat 20:

critposting

sometimes you just gotta harrumph

I don't know much about computers but im pretty sure "backing up" a "hard drive" is a sexual position or a golf maneuver or maybe both

what do you call pasta with no sauce on it?

newdles

what does an evil chicken lay?

deviled eggs

sleppy dargi NEED more slep

sleppy dargi want more slep

two things I hate in the workplace: inconsistency and having to do the same work twice. three things: straight cis dudes going on asshole power trips just because they know they can. I got all three in a five-second interaction that led to me doing 3 hour surgery on a big ass sign. and I'm supposed to feel good because it didn't take me 6 hrs? fuck all that. as if I don't already work hard enough as it is

I'm still upset from work and it's giving me a headache so plz rub my head until I forget about work

"shooting fish in a barrel" is an effective fishing technique because even if you do miss the fish (which is hard) the holes you punch in the barrel will eventually asphyxiate the fish once all the water has drained out

how does one asshole tell another asshole about a near-death experience that happened to a third asshole?

"Rectum? damn near killed 'im!"

I'm more of a "grin and bear it" type of person. meaning I sic a bear on the issue at hand and grin while it makes a bloody mess of things

what happened to the frog's car when it double-parked someone?

it got toad

what if: infinite corn dogs

I can't believe u traitorous fucks haven't jumped on that chinchilla joke wtf