i dont want to have to mask around people anymore

sobriety, drugs 

I'm having difficulty doing the things I used to do when I was high now that I'm sober. I'm just still stuck in the mindset that nothing is enjoyable if I'm not high. how do I get over this, ugh

negative self talk 

i miss the good old days when i used to feel good about how i looked 😅

vegan 

I wish people didn't think that everytime you talk about vegan food you're trying to push it down people's throat. vegan food and cooking is my special interest and I just really love talking about it.

if anyone's interested in supporting me, I'm on twitter talking about my experience with kalvin garrah making a video about me. im @/anxietydyke

nightmares, violence, mental health 

running after us and we had to climb on these huge rocks so we weren't going to make it in time. so i started beating him up 🤷 like pushed him on the ground and started stomping on his head with my boots. and then we got to safety. what a weird dream for multiple reasons. i haven't had a relationship with my mom for 3 years. my delusions will start telling me this means something and my mom is in danger 😐

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nightmares, violence 

okay so last night i had this really fucking weird dream that this guy was trying to lure me and my mom down by the ocean and I was having some sort of premonition that he was evil and trying to hurt us. i started screaming, but that kind of scream where nothing comes out. and usually that's where I wake up, left feeling helpless. but this time, I went right after my mom and told her she needed to come back with me and she listened. then the guy started—

mental health 

having one of those days where it feels like everyone hates me

I am once again reminding you that the Polynesian community has asked that you use the term “polyam” in lieu of “poly” when talking about polyamory.

mental health 

fuck, i am not doing well today. i am all over the place.

everyone should subtoot me about how much they like me

"you just want attention!" uh, yeah? yeah i do?

selfie, dysphoria (but also being positive abt it) 

ok i never wear my hair up because it usually makes me really dysphoric but there's something about the way my face was changed by T that makes me feel super masc 🤩

Transmisogyny, colonialism, genocide mention 

All oppression is structural

All transphobia is grown on histories of genocidal colonial transmisogyny- as in we have literal records of targeted exterminations of peoples who would be considered TMA at the start of colonization

Almost all social hatred against trans ppl, legal policy, structural access denial, terf actions are targeting TMA people first

splash damage from this field of total dehumanizing violence =/= living in it from birth

and everytime i toot, i get this feeling. and everytime i toot, i swear i could fly.

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A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!