cute and dangerous @austenitic@queer.party

i don't need to leave this place
just how i'm feeling and thinking
i don't want to kill myself
just overwrite the man i was trying to be
let the woman i am emerge

i should've worn a hat

if you would like to interact with me more and you are hornt/don't mind seeing horntness, i've been more active as @biofilm lately. i welcome follow requests <3

i don't hate myself
i hate
the shape
the form i was spilled into

get uncomfortable my relationship to sex and gender will never be normalized and that's ok!

ok, i did it. i unfollowed everyone. expect tootual silence for a bit.

wanting to find things to toot about that aren't preoccupied with anxiety and depression, i'm really in my own head lately. i know there's a whole world out there but i'm having a hard time seeing it. *i* know i've been quiet because of this. and i know that things have to change in meatspace before i can be here the way i want to be.

kinda feel like starting fresh on masto, just unfollowing everyone and then finding a lot of the same people on local and federated

final stretch
my numbers are shit
i don't care

every day my real self takes a nap while the shell does the dirty work. shell's gettin real thin though.

i find it immensely comforting that people have been hacking biological/bodily gender expression for a very long time. the science and the pills i take are relatively new, but the humanity of it is not.

i know better than to put my face in the path of equipment that might move smh

i got back to art by making gift boxes for the house mates

took a lengthy art hiatus,
started working again,
got engaged,
called off the engagement and ended a very important ltr,
got on mastodon,
got on mastodon again to post pictures of my butt,
got a new informal name,
tried grindr and met a cute girl,
started hrt,
came out to close friends as trans and polyamorous,
got so much love and support from trans friends especially,
met more trans people,
moved in to an 8 person house as *me*,
started dating that cute girl,
got back to art.

i swear my nipples, but especially my right one, are a tiny bit bigger and a different kind of sensitive. it's only been five weeks tho. my emotions feel slightly different. i'm a little more likely to deal with them sooner, and a little more likely to cry?

i guess i'm already working through feelings via some parallel/symbolic act.

cooking. clearing a work area in the kitchen, then making food and cleaning as i go. it lets me relax mentally, i often get some clarity from it. and i have some Things to work through so it's good that i need food on the regular, actually.

hats

what if a D8 had dots