maybe carceral solutions that allow the state's law enforcement to selectively crack down on whichever part of the population they choose for whichever breach they choose are... hear me out... not the solution

radish harvest 

this is the second half of my radish harvest. not bad.

the first half, of course, is now pickles.

Contemplating becoming a camgirl that just does cereal reviews without showing my face.

My friend says my comedy has been too dry lately, so I’m looking for clown blood to moisten it.

I liked Dune but then I realised it was racist and what I really like is sci-fi with lots of sand.

Packers fans to remake Dune:

The Cheese-hat Haderach

My friend showed a picture of her cat at it has lips

rifling my piss hole so i can hit people from farther away

My brother is disappointed with the Jimmy Dean corporation. The Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls contain insufficient amounts of food product for his large body. I’ll have to ask him if he’s glad Jimmy Dean crashed his Porsche 550.

Yo kids, ask your parents to get you a box of one of the dank nasty new PopTarts™️ flavours! Tide™️ Pods, Vape, and DeezNuts, now exclusively at Dollar General!

Time for another one of those poop toots my friends wanted.


Antifa done stole my government bailout money from Obama and redistributed it! I fraudulently obtained that fair and square!

send help!! plato has trapped me inside of a cave and he won't stop doing shadow puppets

lewd, kelpie, death 

If you stuck your dick in a Kelpie, would the sticky interior make you cum before you drowned in the loch?

Man goes to scientist. Says he fears for the distant future. Says the difficulty of safe storage and disposal of nuclear waste weighs heavily on his conscience.

Scientist says, Solution is simple: entrust the nuclear waste to a powerful culture. They will protect people from accidental exposure.

Man says, But doctor, we consider ourselves a powerful culture.

The elite alpha trooper is the best platform for Nerf modding and I won't hear otherwise. Drac sold me on them 10 years ago.

My friends want me to toot every time I poop. I think this is stupid. That said, I did just poop.

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!