Mx. Thea Barnes @TheaTheBard@queer.party

Tonight is the two year anniversary of my assault, and I'm actually really glad I'm manic for it, because as shitty as I'm doing right now, it could've been worse. At least the mania takes the edge off.

Ah yes, doing laundry all night instead of sleeping for two days in a row, I'm the picture of mental health

still manic, still not sleeping, going a little crazy. I haven't been this horny in longer than I can remember.

broke: keep a mood journal
woke: post your breakdown on social media

I find it interesting how my Mastodon timeline is basically just chronicling my mental breakdown right now

I started cutting again. Things were just getting to be too much again. I'm sure the mania isn't helping, but I wish I knew how to stop.

Still manic, still not sleeping. I'm doing a bit better though! My therapist says I'm making real progress.

I should add that I couldn't have gone to sleep earlier than 2am, so I slept *maybe* three hours

So this morning (like 5 o'clock) I woke up on my couch with no recollection of going to sleep, mania is fun~

still manic... not as irritable but still not sleeping

Ugh, manic again, and not the bouncy happy kind. I hate being bipolar sometimes. I haven't slept in days, everything is pissing me off, and I don't know what to do with all this energy. I feel like I'm going to explode.

Conflicted, my gf keeps misgendering one of my friends, and I'm not sure how to confront her about it

A lot of the time I feel like I'm weak, fragile after Abe raped me. Not right now, right now I'm just "no, fuck that, I *survived*, I'm a badass" and it feels really good.