not all men. just enough of you that we have to fear all men

also the ones who are dangerous are often indiscernable from the ones who aren't

because, like, even the ones who definitely are a problem are saying "not all men" to us

so saying "not all men" does absolutely zero to prove you aren't one of those men

so stop saying it to us and start questioning your bros' behaviour instead.

this would incidentally be the best demonstration i can think of that not all men are like that. no one ever shows us that tho do they

so 'not all men' sounds less like a reassurance to women that men aren't all bad, and more like a demand that every man be given several chances to harm us before we treat him like someone who might harm us

it basically feels a lot like men want simultaneously to be treated as benign but also they want us to be aware that of they are displeased things will quickly get unpleasant for anyone who displeases them. you can't have both of those.

@ThatWallflower They want to be able to continue oppressing us and having us thank them for it.


the penny dropped for me when it was pointed out that not doing this bad thing or that bad thing doesn't make a guy some sort of prize

dudes who do are lowering the bar, is all

if one's basis of comparison are thugs & jerks, one might want to upgrade one's standards

@ThatWallflower *Randy Savage Elbow Drop from the top ropes the follow button*

@ThatWallflower why several? If someone would hurt me there would not be another chance.


I understand wholeheartedly where you are coming from. The typical man is toxic, and has no comprehension on how he could possibly be part of the problem. There are surely far worse than him out there--is he not merely part of the status quo? Except that is the entire problem.

At the same time, it is extremely damaging to men of marginalized communities as well as the trans community at large to dunk on men as a whole. "Men are evil" is the basis of TERF propaganda.

@OchotonidKnight show me where i said "all men are evil".
and comparing a trans woman explaining how it's not very helpful for men to pull the 'not all men' move, to terfs and their hateful rhetoric, would be extremely tasteless if that's what you were going for.
i really hope it was just that your toot wasn't particularly clear.

@OchotonidKnight i literally went out of my way to not assert all men are a problem, and i'm STILL getting responses like this. it's incredible.


Show me where I said you said "all men are evil".

The day before yesterday, I'd have boosted your toot. But then I read a post on how harmful this kind of rhetoric is for the trans man/trans masc community, and I cannot help but think about it critically moving forward.

Sure, you can move the goalposts, as it were, to cis men specifically, and while that is no less understandable, it is still a prejudice that erases a lot of intersectional considerations.


But on the other hand, maybe you were right to begin with, and I was actually better off never opening my mouth regardless.

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