For those of you who insist on using the phrase “opposite gender”, please note that the opposite of a woman is not a man, but rather an anti-woman.

If gender and anti-gender come into contact, they annihilate in an explosive release of energy.

Gender theorists have long since predicted the existence of anti-gender particles, and experimental evidence, particularly XXX-ray observations, indicates they existed in great quantities in the early universe.

However, while theorists consider the problem solved, gender experimentalists continue to have difficulty synthesising (let alone containing) anti-gender material.

Practical anti-gender technology remains, as ever, twenty years away.

One popular explanation, considered a step towards a unification of the (currently incompatible) theories of gender and sexuality, is that the conspicuous absence of anti-gender particles is related to the similar absence of top quarks (the great top shortage).

Whatever the true explanation, observations since the discovery of quantum gender theory have consistently shown an inexplicable shortage of tops relative to bottoms.

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Like the gender asymmetry problems the great top shortage remains unexplained, largely because nobody can find sufficient tops to conduct a proper study.

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