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Long-winded #introduction 

Global Gallows Humor 

I made my partner a birthday gift, and I'm real dang proud. She's a DM, so I had some teeny-tiny polyhedral dice 3D printed, dyed the 3 sets the pan pride colors*, and stuffed them in a faux-antique glass vial pendant.

*Okay, as close as I could get. Y'all, plastic dying is hard.

Sometimes I feel like my real contributions at work aren't appreciated. I mean which test data would you rather see?

A) Username: "Username",
FirstName: "UserFirst",
LastName: "UserLast"

B: Username: "JBeez",
FirstName: "Jonathan",
LastName: "A Literal Cloud Of Bees"

How many times do you throw a lone sock back into the laundry before giving up on it finding its mate?

Well guess who's got eight thumbs and just got a month of workers' comp from the cloning facility

Food 

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

If catch-22 is so good why isn't there a catch-23?

Angry Book Ramblings: The Three Beths (Spoilers, CW: Murder) 

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Book Musings: The Three Beths 

Hey, my beautiful babies. A local theatre is live-streaming their production of a play called TRANSom, created by an all trans/non-binary ensemble, about a "found family" living in one home at 5 CDT today.

howlround.com/happenings/lives

Food 

🎶I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
Takeeeeeen: I have a particular set of skiiiills🎶

This does help explain why Jughead Jones can access the speed force.

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Okay, okay, okay... I think I figured out how Riverdale happened. An intern at The CW tripped on the way from the copiers and all their pages mixed up, but they already got the college credit and it was their last week, so they said, "fuck it."

*aims crossbow*
"Say goodbye, dad."
"You should know... Your mother and I are getting divorced."
"But... I thought out family would be together forever."
"Anyhow, time to join this goblin cult."
*cue musical number*

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

The Matrix is unrealistic because it's a movie where a black man and a woman tell a straight white man that everything he knows is wrong, and he just accepts that.

New tin can with a string tied to it, who dis?

Book Musings: The Nymphos of Rocky Flats 

I got a bunch of second hand books due to my partner's friend moving. I started one with an atrociously trashy cover and it has not disappointed.

Like 50 pages in the lead character, a hard-boiled private detective, war veteran and, oh right, vampire gets into a literal fight with a raccoon.

And loses.

Book Musings: Where The Crawdads Sing 

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

Nintendo keeps asking "who's that Pokemon?" ......... But they never ask "how's that Pokemon?"

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!