Pinned toot

Long-winded #introduction Show more

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be my roommate Steve's fault.

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

Lewd, Looking For Advice Show more

Lewd, Looking For Advice Show more

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

I'm not sure if this is lewd, but it's DEFINITELY explicit, and also I don't know what it means. Show more

Long, Dumb, Lewd Joke Show more

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted
Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

Obnoxious keyboard Show more

Pretentious, obnoxious as heck office desktop setup, dog Show more

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

After UNDERTALE and DELTARUNE will come the final game in the Toby trilogy

ALERTNUDE

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

How could Harry have not seen the signs? The wand danced in the air, green fire lighting letters in the space between air and energy -

I AM TOM BRADY, the words read.

No. No. Not like this, Harry thought. Surely Hermione would be coming any second to snap him to sense and reason. The letters rearranged, dancing almost to torment the young wizard to be.

They now spelled A DIRTY MAMBO.

Lou Bega stood revealed /pp.596 of 657\

Just, The Absolute Dumbest Lewd Joke Show more

Boy it has been forever since I've been active on Mastodon, but I do miss you crazy kids. Y'all doing okay?

I'd like to tell you all about the greatest joy in my bus-taking life...
✨The Good Seat✨

* There's an extra inch where the bench ends and the wall to the left starts, which means bonus seatus for your rear meatus

* There's a pole on the right hand side, which provides a physical barrier from other people's manspreading

* There's a little shelf you can set your bag on, rather than spending the whole ride giving it the death grip to keep it slipping off your legs

Oh my giblets. Okay so I got invited to see a screening of "One Cut of the Dead" as part of my theater's rewards program. Y'all... If you get a chance, watch this single take, indie zombie film. It was a gosh-dang treat.

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (-) Show more

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (-) Show more

Cooking/Food Show more

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!
Note for folks coming from Tumblr; NSFW content is allowed here, but you must tag your posts as NSFW, and provide a clear content warning for them! NSFW profile pictures or banners, or explicit usernames/display names are not allowed. Please keep it friendly!