Pinned toot

Long-winded #introduction Show more

Seeking Opinions on Slime Rancher Show more

I have this problem where I really, really enjoying making factually detailed but incredibly stupid jokes. It's not usually a problem, but sometimes you're supposed to be working and are instead researching old football games just to make a crack about Earl Morrall being carried away by a giant eagle during the 1968 Jets/Colts Superbowl and how it changed the game forever.

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

Me *speaking to my mirror*: Now repeat after me, if an image is tagged as "nude" on mastodon, there will be naked people in it.

Me: Ok. If I see an image on mastodon, click it blindly and be shocked that there are boobs.

Me: No, fuck. For the twentieth time...

Oh. My. Fuck.
I've been haunted by this story I read in a compilation when I was 11, but I'd started to question whether this tale of an oceanic, sci-fi world where people switch genitals after they have penetrative sex was real or just a false memory...


Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

BDSM, videogames, I'm sorry Show more

Eye contact, video, strobing colors Show more

Well this fucking sucks.
My weekend was looking a bit empty so I was hoping to get a 54-year-old for a few days, but apparently you can only buy those new.

"Here is how the US department of agriculture defines a nugget..."

Well, this has been a fun YouTube k-hole to fall into.

Dumb Joke About "Us" Show more

Using an old meme as an excuse to get a phrase out of my head Show more

CPAP Testing Report! Show more

Okay, so I'm diving around the manufacturer's site for this CPAP machine and there is just some wonderful stuff on here that I don't think they intended. Like this surprise micro-fiction prompt from one of their FAQs:

"Will I be able to use this as a full time machine?"

Selfie, Eye Contact Show more

So apparently there's a 2005, made for TV version of Reefer Madness... starring Kristen Bell... and it's a musical.


It's REAL good.

(And currently free on Jeffery's website if you have a subscription.)

Tech Bros (Pt. 2) Show more

Hackernews, Tech Bros Show more

Alvaro :heart_pan: boosted

Lewd, Looking For Advice Show more

Lewd Design Talk Show more

*leans against a lamp post, drenched in sweat, the night still deep and dark and the air humid and dense*

Fuck, okay, almost down to a 14 minute mile. Come on man, we can do it.

*grabs a sports bottle from his belt and twists it open, squeezing a stream of ice cold gazpacho all over his face*

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!
Note for folks coming from Tumblr; NSFW content is allowed here, but you must tag your posts as NSFW, and provide a clear content warning for them! NSFW profile pictures or banners, or explicit usernames/display names are not allowed. Please keep it friendly!