Alvaro @OMGTehAwsome@queer.party

Better rip off the old #introductions band-aid so people don't think I'm a poorly written bot.

I'm Al. I'm an old school bisexual, just because they didn't have the word "pan" back when we were driving our hot rods to the malt shop and getting an egg cream for a dime.

I love indie comic books, comedy and cooking. My TV is always blaring something, since otherwise I get lonely.

I'm as broken as everybody else and my coping strategies are pretty terrible, but I make do.

Feel like making some retro-gaming goof-arounds?

http://deathgenerator.com/

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be my roommate Steve's fault.

So dead serious question: does anybody know of a dock or charging station for wireless Magic Wands? I don't care if it's 3D printed and requires some cable management, I'd just like to have this thing on deck and fully charged at all times.

"Um, okay, I so I'm willing to do try this whole... power exchange thing... but... I mean what should I call you, y'know, during? Mistress?"
"Eh, it's just a bit long."
"Mommy?"
"No, too oedipal for me."
"Daddy?"
"Somehow that's worse."
"Sir? Master?"
"Eh... They're okay but..."
"..."
"..."
"Tony Danza?"
"Mmmf--aaaaaah. Yes. Bend over the bed and let me show you who the boss is."

Oh my god it's just so pretty when we dim the office lights

Okay... so we moved into a new coworking space and that means experimenting with a new setup...

Stuff I'm jazzed about:
* Hidden dock
* Hello-compatible camera
* So few wires (keyboard and macro pad, pretty much)
* The most obnoxious keycaps on the most pretentious, light up, rainbow keyboard
* Multipoint headphones (podcasts coming in from my phone, so I can trim silences, but still able to get calls and notifications from the PC)

Ah yes, the two genders.

(Source: https://thedailywtf.com/articles/please-select-all-errors-that-apply )

How much dick could a dickchuck chuck if a dickchuck could chuck dick?

Boy it has been forever since I've been active on Mastodon, but I do miss you crazy kids. Y'all doing okay?

I'd like to tell you all about the greatest joy in my bus-taking life...
✨The Good Seat✨

* There's an extra inch where the bench ends and the wall to the left starts, which means bonus seatus for your rear meatus

* There's a pole on the right hand side, which provides a physical barrier from other people's manspreading

* There's a little shelf you can set your bag on, rather than spending the whole ride giving it the death grip to keep it slipping off your legs

Oh my giblets. Okay so I got invited to see a screening of "One Cut of the Dead" as part of my theater's rewards program. Y'all... If you get a chance, watch this single take, indie zombie film. It was a gosh-dang treat.

The combat feels super weird. I remember Zelda games having snappy dodging, but this one... It dodges if it feels like it? Otherwise it just jumps a bit? The combat doesn't feel accurate either, so this damn "precisely hit this ball with just enough energy to knock it into a hole over a wall" temple... No? I'm good? I'd rather not? Christ, I can hardly punch a skeleton, please don't ask me for surgical precision.

Boy, after hearing so much praise for this game for a whole year... it's been really weird trying to actually play it.

The cooking system is *awful*. And you have to figure it out to finish the first tutorial dungeons. I mean... Just freaking give me a "press A to cook" button when I'm standing next to a pot. It took me *two hours* to realize that I had to go into my inventory, select a bunch of apples, then exit and hit "throw."

I had to do a spot of meal prep, but it's coming out wonderfully serene. Searing group lamb. Cooking mushrooms in the rendered fat. Chopping up some daikon. Simmering it all together in a red curry sauce. All while I sip away at my tea and Brooklyn 99 streams on in the background...

I feel so calm.