trying to follow this instruction:
talk about the things you love, even if you think nobody cares.
people won't ask for it at least at first, but some of them will care
and it's attractive to see someone talk about the things they love.
let go of the notion that it's worthless if you don't get a minimum number of listeners, reactions, replies.
practice caring publicly about the things you care about.
I think this is a good reminder for me. I never liked being shy anyway
@lyds I have caught myself not talking about my reading because I am afraid nobody will care, or that people won't think I'm as good as I think I am, or--
but I'm good at bravery and I already post "I'm big lesbiab" at least once a day on this account. I'm a big girl and I'll post what I care about dammit
@LilyVers I try to do the same
@LilyVers back when the internet felt smaller and less goverened by algorithms, this was the norm.
I met all sorts of weird and wonderful people, traded letters, books, private tales and mix tapes and all the good things friendships are built from.
Then the internet started to feel bigger, and more crowded, and it felt like in order to connect with anyone you needed to tap into what it seemed everyone else cared about: those things the algorithm bubbled up.
So, yeah - this is a really good call to write about the things you care about.
It might only be you that cares.
But you might find others that forgot they cared, and you can trade letters, books and all those good things again.
@LilyVers Thanks for posting this. I'm scrolling through feeds wondering what I could possibly have to post about, feeling like I want to connect with people but thinking I don't have a lot to say. But you're right, there are a lot of things I could post about if I take your approach.
@screenbeard @LilyVers Yes, same here!
@LilyVers fwiw this is something I almost can’t not do and — yeah a lot of people don’t care but some people do and some people love it and it can be really good to open your heart about like… for me it’s a plant or a quilt technique or things like that.
I hope it’s beautiful for you too
@LilyVers
It has a collateral benefit: making it normal to talk about the things we love in general. Other good people may feel encouraged to talk about what they love, too.
When it's hard to do for just ourselves, do remember that it's spreading a little courage for others as well <3
@LilyVers And if anyone tells you "nobody cares about that stuff", they're lying, it just means that they personally don't care. You can stop talking to them but please keep talking about your thing to others.
@LilyVers I got indirect feedback from a LOT of people that they broke up contact with me because I did exactly that. 🤷♀️
@Drezil there are lots of adjacent communication issues to "talking about the things you love" that could be to blame, for example
-are you listening to them as much as you talk?
-are you asking about them as much as you disclose about your interests?
-are you regularly diverting conversations into your topic of choice?
-do you communicate well about the things you love, or is there a chance that listeners are lost?
(ftr: i don't want to go through your history to figure out what happened)
@LilyVers you don't have to scroll through my history. It's mostly offline anyway. And yes, I made many mistakes. Still the advice without an advice for caution could be dangerous.
@Drezil I'm not adding common sense disclaimers to my blog posts thanks
@LilyVers I love this message so much and it should be sprayed as graffiti on the walls of every data highway of the internet and handed out as leaflet on every virtual public place.
@LilyVers This is good advice.
Thank you for this much-needed reminder.
@LilyVers do you have any advice for someone who doesn't talk about the things they like because they've been told (either directly or indirectly) that they're annoying and nobody cares?
And by indirectly, I mean that I can see their eyes glaze over, and as soon as I stop to take a breath, they jump in and change the subject, not caring if I was done or not. 😞
@m0ch1c4t find better friends, that's incredibly rude
@LilyVers ah, crap, I phrased things badly. I meant that in the past, I had friends like that. So nowadays even though I have different friends, I'm still nervous about talking about my interests (when I don't know if they're shared with any of my current friends) because of past experiences. Sorry for not specifying; I have a cold and am not thinking staright.
Basically, I'm a ball of anxiety and want to know if anyone (not just OP) has advice on how I could approach talking about things I love without info-dumping immediately.
@m0ch1c4t communication is cool. "Hey, I'm pretty excited about X, do you mind if I tell you some stuff about it?" and if your anxiety needs to be assuaged if they say yes, "Just let me know if we're reaching your limit, I can talk about this for a long time, okay?"
idk that works for me
but this original post was in the context of posting publicly, not in one-on-one conversations
@LilyVers ah, thank you very much. I'll do my best to remember to ask first. I really appreciate your advice.
And sorry for veering off in an unintended direction.
I'm being dick-shitted for talking about what I love (and I blocked them for sure) so much. That my penis isn't important and that I don't realize it (which I actually do in general terms, but surely my girlfriend find it important and attractive). If I talk about #sex with women, I'm being called a sexist. If I talk about how wonderful I find their vaginas, I'm being called pussy-centric and perverted.
I'm not saying this here because I want to offend anyone here, only pointing out the idiots (others, already blocked) here. They judged me because I love e.g. vanilla ice cream and find chocolate disgusting where I would have just stated my opinion. But since they found chocolate ice cream wonderful and my vanilla ice cream disgusting, I must be a bad person. They missed the whole point of that rules are universal (one of the pillars of philosophy).
@roland this is not a conversation I signed up for, thanks
@LilyVers oh gosh mood yeah