I want a girl who is covered in sediment,
Who shrieks in infrasonic at the moment she kills,
With iridescent skin and seven rows of teeth
And paralytic venom she secretes from her gills

I want a girl with tungsten alloy plating!
I want a girl who has jets! Built! In!
She's collecting her bounty - she is crushing my windpipe -
She is gyro compensating for the planetary spin--

I want a girl who knows all the vault codes,
I want a girl who saw me first,
I want a girl who has a dozen identities
Who will slip me her calling card in the bottom of my purse-
With fingers like lockpicks and a mind like a sapphire
Radiation lipstick and a smirk to cut glass
With a helicopter waiting for her backup escape plan
And a second helicopter for a second strafing pass
I want a girl with a short cape and a long,
Long crime spree

I want a girl with poor continuity,
I want a girl with disappearing scars,
With family she visits in thirty different graveyards
And a list of corrections she needs to make to the stars
Her eyes are discerning and photovoltaic
Her face is slightly different when she enters the room,
She's been gone for ten minutes -
She's been gone for a century -
She'll never make it home, but she will see you soon
I want a girl with a short haircut and a long
Haircut

I want a girl with the mark of the vampire (MARK OF THE VAMPIRE!)
I want a girl who can withstand the sun (WITHSTAND THE SUN!)
With a web of connections to dubious characters
Close-quarters training and an ultraviolet gun
With a ravenous appetite for the blood of the living
An active evil conscience that she has to suppress
She is hunting her brethren, the ancient progenitor,
She is hiding holy water underneath her party dress
I want a girl with a short fang and a long
Stake

I want a girl who talks like a lawyer,
I want a girl who looks like hell,
I want a girl who is humming with power
And barely imprisoned by the summoning spell
With black hair rising in a personal updraft,
With a cool demeanour and speech like a flame,
With a black leather folder, a thousand dollar ballpoint,
She is handing it to me, I am signing my name -
I want a girl with a short pitch for a looong
Contract

@LilyVers thanks for doing the impossible. thanks for making CAKE horny

@distressedegg i always thought they were horny. There's bass groove and everything. Plus you haven't seen me on a karaoke night

@LilyVers totally fair. you could probably fuck to "Comfort Eagle" if you ignore the words

@distressedegg you can listen AND fuck, it's just an angry, angry fuck

@LilyVers i mean that also sounds fun tbh

@distressedegg have I converted you?

Because

I am building a religion
I am building it bigger...

@LilyVers i can meet at your location, and yes, i'll come with cash

@distressedegg (well

THIS went better than expected)

@LilyVers we'll get along just fine, just don't start calling me "DUUUUUUDE"

@distressedegg I would NEVER! I'm all for widening corridors, but I draw the line somewhere!

@LilyVers @distressedegg bass is so fucking horny

@LilyVers swooning

@cipheramnesia back off, she choked me out first ;)

@LilyVers who says i'm not swooning over the writing?

@cipheramnesia why, I'm flattered, but allow me to assure you, you haven't seen nothing yet ;)

@LilyVers oh my gods that

@LilyVers
Thank you for your hard work and service to a good cause.

@Balina just out here wanting various girls like any sensible person should be

i am stunned, nay, dazzled, by the ongoing glory that is @LilyVers's singable wife catalog ⬆️🧵

@vyr hire me for all your wife song needs!

@LilyVers hhhhhhh these are all so amazing

@alexis i am honoured. as always, the best compliment you could give me is to Choose Wife

@LilyVers This post might change my hair color. 🖤

↗️ Promoted by Choose Wife

@vyr
ah, I'm flattered! (but you look so good in the blonde!)

note that Vyr knows a good demonic wife when she sees one, if you've read her Mel series~

@LilyVers fuck, I *also* want all of these girls.

And I also want to *be* them, a classic dilemma.

@AudreyJune that's transbian babe!!!!!!

my solution: just start smoochin

@LilyVers a girl I want but could never keep

@hamsterpower it's about the dream, babey

@LilyVers omg i love these

@velexiraptor not all of them made it into the song, so theres some gems even I forgot about!

@LilyVers camryn is in love with the vampire one and wants to offer a fanged smooch

@velexiraptor yeah camryn isn't alone in that 💚

@LilyVers yes i love this

@KitRedgrave I pretty much have the Short Skirt/Long Jacket groove going on in my head 60-70% of my waking time now

@LilyVers this is how you win the time war

@LilyVers this is how you lose the time war

@velexiraptor if she's how i lose the time war, I never want to win

@LilyVers https://radical.town/@velexiraptor/103603348222134751

@velexiraptor if she's how i win the time war, i never want to lose

@LilyVers i was literally just fucking listening to short skirt, long jacket when @leila relayed this what the FUCK

@Baguette @leila easily solved. everybody is listening to Short Skirt Long Jacket all the time