Pinned toot

I'm gonna have a social media detox and delete Tusky to help me achieve the goal more easily. See ya the next day. :blobmiou:

The latest MV of 100 gecs also gives me relief.
:ablobcatheart:

⚠️ 

Two months of social media detox has made me think about how much my feelings are affected by interactions with other people online. I feel an urge to have high self-esteem and not be distracted by whatever anyone says to me.

In my view, one's existence has literally no meaning to this world, but nihilism does give me a reason to do anything good for my wellbeing: less torture by self-awareness, more freedom for me.

I will give more attention to whatever really matters to me from now on.

I'm gonna have a social media detox and delete Tusky to help me achieve the goal more easily. See ya the next day. :blobmiou:

Venting 

Also, I always hear strange noises nowadays and see black, ugly monsters when lying on my bed in darkness. Deleuze and Guattari praised the schizophrenics, though, it's not actually romantic to be schizophrenic.

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Venting 

Sometimes I think I actually come from a world that homo sapiens don't deserve to have and that's why my social adjustment is such a failure. I know my schizophrenia's getting worse cuz I recently had an illusion that a famous blogger I've known in real life came to me and laughed at me, saying I copied him all the time and none of my works was original and I was nobody although I worked hard to get people's attention.

Venting 

I dare confess cuz I know I can't get better if I don't admit my problems. The only thing I really worry about is that I myself am the real problem.

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Venting 

I feel lost in the metropolis and I really wanna have a time travel to get to where nothing's gonna hurt me. There's a word for my condition in Chinese which means a heart fragile like glass and easily getting broken.

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Venting 

I'm sorry that I seem to have lost my sanity after I lost my former job during the pandemic. I suffer a lot cuz I blame myself for not acting like an average worker and ruining my career in the field I really like.

Venting 

All the people I've met in a single year period treat me like trash and that's why I feel like I'm a trash. They don't like me and that makes me think that all the things I've done are wrong and I'll be totally abandoned one day.

Venting 

Also there's a conflict in my brain which asks me to get a way out mercilessly with teeth and claws or just accept the inferior situation I'm in now. I think I'll choose suicide to solve this moral conundrum, cuz I know I'm neither a badass who cares about nothing unrelated to their benefits nor a saint who only cares about the mass and the society.

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Venting 

I suffer from a severe depression, an extreme anxiety and a moderate eating disorder every day cuz I accept the social standard of successful people deep inside my mind and feel like I don't deserve to live on this world

How's it like to feel belonging to this world?

I think it's cruel if you see anyone besides you live a better life and they laugh at your awkwardness and miserable situation

i want a pornotopia cuz the libido should not be oppressed

I always feel sick eating takeouts. Damn those fast food

why some white economists take dirty money from Beijing and speak for CCP

Mastodon is so fragmented that I cannot post anything written in Chinese, cuz no one's gonna read them. Sino users are too scarce.

An eboy DMed me on Twitter, that's a relief cuz I really want some attention

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!