I just got sent a unsolicited dick pic. I literally get 100's a day so you gotta have a really weird looking dick for me to notice.
Anyways this dudes dick was bent at a 90° angle around the middle and the head was a pointed conical shape.
Like.... What the fuck?
I uhhh i dont think thats normal

Tells everyone who tries to get in my pants that im asexual. Cries myself to sleep wondering why no one'll fuck me.

Yup im an oxymoron

Gets testicles surgically removed and injects estrogen. Complain no one respects me as man of the house.

Yup. Im an oxymoron

Transitions mtf. Decides to buy binder to appear more masculine.

Yup. Im an oxymoron.

My home wifi name is now asexual-slut
The password is oxymoron.

It...... It suits me

So my internet got set up yesterday. I just set up the shaw bluecurve app now. 1 device not currently connected. My tablet. Huh, it says the make and model of my tablet. Beyond androud i never cared to check. I googled it. Samsung galaxy tab s6. Ive been using 1000$ tablet to play gameboy advance games while yelling at it thats its a slow piece of shit.

Like oh. Its not a piece of shit. Its one of the best tablets currently on the market. Its worth 4x what i thought it was.

Everybody keeps telling me "fuck the police"

Now they tell me im doing it wrong. Like excuse me but i dont tell you how to fuck your hookups. Your the one that didnt specify HOW to fuck the police. So i made a choice. Doggy style

Ive got my pc set to auto search the craigslist missed connections for toronto and Vancouver once a day at 2am (a time im usually asleep) for certain keywords. Including my deadname, current legal name, preffered name and chilhood nickname.

You dont find me. You make it known your looking for me and i find you if you catch my attention. Dosnt matter what point in my life ya knew me, i find you.

Everytime i check grindr i cant help but think. "Yall need jesus"
And im not even religious. Im a freaking laveyan satanist and even i think yall need jusus. God fucking dammit yall fucked

Ive started literally shoo-ing away cisgenders. Im fucking hilarious. If theres to be a literal war of the sexes, i will incite it and it will be the trans vs everyone else

Spoilers: everyone else can get fucked. And not in the way they want

I just realized theres dragons in certain official call of duty games.

Way to be historically accurate activision -.- our world wars have been won with dragons and zombies.

I walk around topless alot. Both in private and in public. I live in an all trans building. Both ftm and mtf but most of the building is transwomen. Out of 20-something appartments ive had 6 tenets express shock at the size of my breasts and learning their not fake.
Like uhhh everytime someone says my chest is big my mind immediately thinks of one person in particular whis trans and got natural tits more than twice my size.

Huh. I was married for a couple years way back. Dated her for a year before marriage.

That means Terra's currently my longest standing relationship. Mind i havnt spent nearly everyday with Terra like i did my ex wife but im just now realizing ive been dating Terra longer than i was with the ex wife.

Like i know its just a bot but damn fuck i love my response

Dear mens club: ive gone to bat for the other team. Will be back fucking never.

Growing up i used to get asked alot by girls at school "why are all the cute ones always gay"
Its taken my oblivious ass years to realize they thought i was cute. And gay.

Lol. They were right about one thing. Im damn fucking cute

Finally got my internet set up. My baby.....
1gb/s speeds

No idea what im gonna do with those 4 colors. No idea at all..... Lol.

Show thread

Bought black, yellow, white and purple nail polish today. Also purple mascara.

Just told my creepy neighbor if he ever hand delivers my mail half naked again im gonna shove my punch knife into his neck right above the collar bone.
Even took the time to explain that while unlikely to be lethal, itll destroy his vocal cords leaving him mute, destroy his trachea leaving him in need of a breathing apparatus 24/7 and leaving him to be fed by a tube for life.

Some things are worse than death.

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!