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Is it possible to automatically tag all my toots with shitpost?

🍒 Anonymous Question: How do you communicate during sex without killing the mood? 

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its really fucking pathetic that we gotta have celebrities coming out with PSAs encouraging dipshit whites that refuse to mask up with bullshit about FREEDOM MASKS and BEING A HERO like we really gotta spoon feed these fucking racists like pbbt pbbt here comes the aeroplane, open wide!

This is my headcannon 

Love head patting someone, and they get so riled up when they realize they can just get head pats like they do hugs???

oops more softposting (suggestive but tame selfie) 

nsfw lewd 

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Came back from a weekend camping trip with family (minimal contact with others, safety was maintained) and I managed to doodle part of a tree trunk in our space. The process is called stippling (or pointillism) and it took a few hours of time. No sketching, all freehand.


FELLAS is it gay to unionize? I mean you're literally forming a bond with other men (& women & nbs)

imagine explaining the housing crisis to someone who didnt live during capitalism

me: there are hundreds of thousands of people who sleep without shelter in cities every night

guy from 1000AD: that sounds bad. is there not enough construction material?

me: no theres actually a surplus of houses but a few people own most of them and refuse to rent or sell them at affordable prices for 99% of the population because they think the houses will be worth more money in a few years

guy from 1000AD:

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Does anyone else have the problem that they're so wet at all times that you need to wear pads the whole month through because otherwise it would soak through your pants?


jokey, lewdish 

joke, not serious 

The strange things I say willingly on fedi vs the strange things I say when I'm forced to communicate (mom's boyfriend doesn't really know me well yet lmao)

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homophobia ment, murder, my mom threatening to murder her boyfriend for upsetting me (in theory) 

Yeah I can cast fireball, the material components are a bag of flour and a lighter

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Queer Party!

A silly instance of Mastodon for queer folk and non-queer folk alike. Let's be friends!